| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2007|12:24 am] |
What the hell is even going on anymore?
My birthday is in 8 days. |
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| home |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|02:21 pm] |
I'm home.
And I couldn't be happier.
California was fun, but the people I was with got on my nerves a lot.
I'm exhausted.
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| goodbye |
[Jul. 23rd, 2007|03:42 pm] |
I am leaving tomorrow morning for California.
I'm nervous/excited/mad/peaceful all at once.
I think I'll update while I'm there. I'm not promising anything that great, though.
I'm just going to relax with my family and whatnot. |
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| ho hum pigs bum |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|10:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | helios | ] |
You know what really makes me angry? People who complain about having nothing to do. I'd love to have more time to do "nothing." I don't think I've stayed home one day I've had off from work. I'm always doing something. That's why I'm looking forward to California. I'll get to relax and just chill with my family. I'm going to be away from everything and, unfortunately, everyone.
There's this older man who has come through the drive thru the past couple times I've worked. He always comments on how nice I am to him compared to the other people who work there. After I give him his change back, he leaves behind a dollar bill. He's done this twice now. I hope the Ronald McDonald House appreciates the money. I can't accept a tip. I'm not a waiter.
I hate you, itunes. Why can't you just PLAY and not skip when I'm on the internet? It skips like crazy when a page is loading on here. It's starting to piss me off. But I love you for playing the Eingya cd by Helios that Andrew finally sent me. Love love love love love<3
http://www.myspace.com/thesadepicurean
Listen and appreciate the beauty of Dragonfly Across an Ancient Sky.
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| screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|01:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | iron and wine | ] |
I learned how to play a new game tonight. I was hanging out with my good ol' buddies Ashley, Phoebe, Phoebe's boyfriend, and Taylor. And later DBWT came along with his friend, Domenic.
So, apparently, we weren't ready to handle the game. Domenic taught us it anyways. What you do is you cover your teeth with your lips (like an old person without teeth). And you have to make the car sounds? You have to screech and reverse and shit. The point is to not let your teeth show. I really don't understand it, but I cried from laughing so hard. You have to move your head while you do it. It was just hilarious. All of us were dieing.
I think I got my older sister into Harry Potter. I took her to see the 5th movie with me, and she asked me if she could borrow my books. Heehee.
I need to stop texting. |
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| avoiding sleep |
[Jul. 15th, 2007|01:40 am] |
I find it insulting that there are some guys that just think I'm hot and want to use me. I fucking hate that.
All of Andrew's friends think I'm hot and want to "hang out" and I'm not retarded. I know they just want to fuck me or something.
And then Andrew calls me beautiful and actually listens to my problems. He's so great. And deep down, we both still like eachother. We get jealous when the other has someone. Bahhh. he's one of my bestest friends.
DBWT came over my house Friday night while my parents went out. Nichole brought him over. So it was me, him, Nichole, and Slags chillin' in my living room watching the Skateboard Kid 2. He's sooooo cute. I need to take a picture of/with him. Since there was a lack of time, I had to fast forward through a lot of the movie. DBWT said that after our expensive dinner at McDoo's, we can watch the whole movie. :]]]
I hope he's not one of those jerks I said something about above.
I hate working. People fucking piss me off so much. I'm going to look for a new job after school starts. Preferably one that pays more than 6.85 an hour. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|07:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | beck | ] |
I got to take Katie to swimming lessons again today. I got to see Ryan. I think he likes me. I hope he does. Well. I mentioned something about him to my mom and she completely flipped. I think she should be thrilled that I like someone who lives like, right down the street from me. But his friend went, "Yeah, Ryan's a great date. He'd take you to an expensive restaurant." But Ryan said that he doesn't have a job. I don't care if he doesn't really have a job. he could take me to Taco Bell and I'd love it.
I went to the mall with Ashley, Chelsea, and Alyssa. It was a fun time, I guess. Sometimes Ashley pisses me off. Like right now. We're SUPPOSED to go see Harry Potter at 730, but she's not home from going out to dinner with her parents. Yeah, okay. My parents want to go out tonight which means I have to be home early. Christ.
Pray that things go bad with Hannah and Andrew tonight. I guess all his friends hate her. And they're all going to this one show that Jaimie and I were invited to by Oliver. But anyways, Andrew said he's nervous to see how things go tonight. I feel slightly selfish for acting this way and hoping that Hannah is a big cunt to him.. but really, I think it's for the best.
I think I might go to the movies by myself. |
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| Peabody's |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|09:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | arcade fire | ] |
So. The original plan was for Jaimie, Ryan, Domenic, and I to go to the show last night. Then Ryan and Domenic remembered that they had practice for a water show (they're life guards). It was just me and Jaimie going. I'm not gonna lie, I was scared.
We got there a half an hour early, so I called Andrew to get the tickets from him. asdfghjkl HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE. I drank a can of Monster, and I was set to go.
We met these other girls who felt out of place there too. I wasn't as scared because they were wearing flip flops. Dumbest idea ever.
Then Andrew introduced me to their singer, Oliver. Now, earlier this week, Andrew said that Oliver thinks I'm hot, wants me to hook him up, etc. OLIVER IS SO FUCKING CUTE. And he was so sweet! I felt safer when I was with them. Oliver invited us back to his house after the show. PSH. OKAY!
We watched Okay, Paul play. I was surprised. I actually liked 'em. I mean, Andrew's had me listen to their music before, but I liked their performance. There was Oliver, doing whatever he does to make his voice sound like that. HOW DO THEY DO THAT? And Andrew was jammin' on his keys. It was great. There was this obnoxious girl there who was hardcore dancing. It wasn't cool. She thought she was better than me because she actually likes metal, goes to metal goes, dances. Whatever! I'm more of a skanker, anyways.
I found myself looking at Andrew the entire night. I was happy every time he said something to me. And Jaimie said that when he was whispering something to me, his friend were looking at us, nodding in approval. :]]]]]] TOO BAD HE'S BACK WITH THAT CHEATING SON OF A BITCH HANNAH.
Oliver had to text what he wanted to say because he couldn't really talk afterwards. That was so adorable.
Blah blah blah. We left the show early. We don't like the other bands playing...
We went back to Oliver's. It was just me, Jaimie, Andrew, and Oliver. We sat around and watched adult swim. And we played pool. I was doing really well (Andrew and I were on a team) but then Andrew ruined it and hit the 8 ball in. UGH.
But wooooooh. I loved being across the room from Andrew. I just looked at him. And he looked at me. And we made faces. And he blew me a kiss, and I got really depressed about that. That was all I'm ever going to get from him.
Oliver probably thinks I'm a freak because I laugh at things that aren't funny. :/ I guess that's okay, though.
Andrew was pooped, so he said he was going home. I mean, I wasn't going to stay at Oliver's without Andrew there. I would've felt weird. I don't know about Jaimie, but I think she kind of liked him so.. I've gotta hook her up. Andrew and I hugged. Really tight. And he said he'd see me later. I knew he was saying that to be nice. I'm not sure if I'll see him again.
At a stoplight, he pulled next to us. He was getting all metal at me. Then I blew him a kiss. And he caught it.
I felt like crying.
I wish I would have had my camera. |
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| good night moon |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | wax on radio | ] |
I'm going to curl up with a book for the rest of the night. Life of Pi. I've gotta read it. I've gotta write a paper too. Thank you, AP English 11.
HOLY SHIT. I hear something climbing up the side of my house. HOLY SHITTTTTTTTT.
I just died. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. I HEAR IT AGAIN. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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| Please Help |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|05:41 pm] |
I guess Jaimie and I are still going to the killwhitneydead show tomorrow night.
I don't hate metal or anything; I just don't listen to it. I've never been to a metal show. I'm super scared.
I know not to let myself get beat up or anything... but if I not in the pit, what am I doing? Listening to the music that I don't even know?
Help. |
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| asexual? |
[Jul. 9th, 2007|11:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sweaty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the decemberists | ] |
I wish I was a lesbian or something.
Or at least, not so completely obsessed with guys.
Or at least, not so heartbroken all the time.
I had to work in this HORRIBLE heat today. I worked right after I got home from marching band, where I had to marching around outside in this HORRIBLE heat. I have to work tomorrow for 8 hours during the day. I'm not too excited about it.
I was supposed to go to a killywhitneydead show because Andrew's band's opening. He never got me tickets. I guess I'm not going. I kind of want to, though.
I'm just going to go to the movies with Jaimie, and maybe go to White Castle or something. I'll make her bring her camera and take pictures. Maybe I'll have a picture post then. How exciting. |
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| what kind of friend am i? |
[Jul. 5th, 2007|11:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the shins | ] |
I'm always told that my friends are my "bitches" or that they're afraid to tell me things because of my reaction. It makes me feel absolutely horrible, and when I express my feelings about it, they think I'm just being a jerk or something.
I seriously am so glad I have Ashley as a bestest friend in the entire world. We tell each other EVERYTHING. And she lives next door. I really don't think I could ask for a better friend. Well, besides the fact that we get annoyed with the other if we're together too much.
We went to the fireworks at this high school last night. They were HORRIBLE, but that's okay. I saw Peter and his friends up there, so I got a big hug! I think it might have been because he ditched me for weed a week ago. OH WELL.
Jaimie's graduation party is on Sunday. I'm excited for it for a few reasons. I get to see Jaimie and all my friends. I get to see ANDREW! It's at a pool that has a slide and splash park for little kids. I don't have to work. And I'm hoping she'll love the cds I'm making her.
I'm leaving for California in a couple weeks. Wow. I just realized that. I pooped my pants a little. The summer really starts to go by fast in July. Or at least it does to me. |
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| I still want |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|10:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | beirut | ] |
That boy. That boy right there. The one dressed up in star trek gear. The one playing keys in a metal band.
That boy named Andrew. HOW PRECIOUS<3 |
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| my darlings |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|11:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | OMGZ ZACH CONDON | ] |
I love love love love love love love Owen Pallett and Zach Condon.
That is all I have to say. |
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| Days off |
[Jun. 29th, 2007|11:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jens lekman | ] |
I've had the past two days off. I kind of wish I didn't. I mean, I usually have things to do. But when one thing goes wrong, I get so upset and feel like everything was just a waste.
I did get some clothes from the mall tonight. I have to dress nice for the plane ride to California. I'm "representing my uncle's company." Blah blah blah. I'm wasting all of my money to go to California rather than IN California.
Peter was supposed to come over tonight. I guess he forgot or something. I'm really mad/hurt. I asked his friend Mark where he was. I guess at the drive-in. Jheez. What a jerk. I feel a little better though because I talked to Mark instead. He's nice. I used to like him a lot. He's got a girlfriend now. But maybe another time?
Yesterday I was sophisticated with my friend Monica who just got back from a writing camp. She's my smart friend. I love being with her. We talked about what I'm doing for my AP English summer reading and all that. We went to Pieman (amazingggg coffee shop) and then to the library. I got out some cds and movies.
I'm not prepared for July.
Not only am I going to have to work by butt off to make money, but I have to visit with friends. After July 24th, my summer is basically over.
July 25th-August 7th/8th is California.
Then that weekend I head off to band camp for a week.
Then there's one more week of summer... and then school! BLAH!
AGH. I'm working 5-close tomorrow. :[
I don't even know the rest of my schedule after that. |
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| dearest andrew, |
[Jun. 28th, 2007|12:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hurt | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | helios | ] |
STOP FUCKING WITH MY EMOTIONS.
Don't tell me that I'm one of the nicest, most caring people you've ever met. Don't tell me that I'm beautiful. Don't tell me anything physical you want to do with me. Don't tell me about your problems with Hannah. Don't tell me anything. Because maybe, I won't be there to talk. Maybe you'll end up crying by yourself for once. I'm sick of being a back up. That's all I ever fucking was. I'm a back up.
At this point, I don't want to talk. I don't want to cut off all connections or anything. I just don't want to talk. I feel like a stupid, 16 year old who's head over heels for a guy that just ends up treating her like shit. Just like you are with stupid Hannah.
I don't want you to come to Jaimie's party. I'll just cry. I want to have fun. I wanted to be able to hold your hand and kiss you like we should have been able to do for the past year. But no. You're with Hannah again. WOW. JUST FUCKING GREAT, ANDREW.
Go off to OSU already. You're not getting a present from me. You're not getting letters or emails. No IMs, comments, message. No nothing.
You need to be grounded from me for awhile.
I'm done. If I talk about him in any other post, I'm deleting this, I swear. |
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| le sigh |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|11:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
I went to the dentist so far today. I've got marching band practice in a little bit. Then I get to work. I hate having so much shit to do in one day. I'm going to be completely wiped out tonight. At least I have tomorrow off, though.
p.s. I really hate when people call me mam at work. Christ. Do I sound old or something? |
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| 1234567890 |
[Jun. 22nd, 2007|05:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | something corporate<3333 | ] |
I realized that I only make really lame entries. I don't want to. I do anyways, though. I like this journal name/style/friends/communities, but the substance fucking blows major cock. (which I'm slightly jealous that even my journal gets to blow cock)
My friend Jaimie is babysitting these kids, so I just hung out with them today after I got McDoo's (yes, on my day off) with Ashley. I didn't get Chicken Joe in my kid's meal. I'm pissed.
Then I sat around with my sister and my mom. We talked about drugs. I guess my dad was an alcoholic. I think I knew that, but he stopped before my sisters and I were born. My mom was just talking about him so casually, and normally I can do that too. For some reason, though, I got a little teary-eyed.
Anyways, I've learned that I live under a rock, kind of. I don't smoke, do drugs, have sex, drink (not often). Should I be? I mean, I'm sure if I was more exposed to those things through friends, I'd be more involved, but I'm not. I usually think that it's not a big deal, and that I'm not missing out on much, but sometimes I think I am. Hm. I dunno.
This one kid I liked a little bit likes my friend Taylor, and she likes him. I'm pretty pissed at both of him. Well, more so her, and I realized that he's lame... but still! And my friend Phoebe has a boyfriend. I never really thought she'd get one, but she did. They're awkward together. I'm still jealous, though. I haven't had a boyfriend in a year (because I'm not allowed). I wish I could find a guy around my age that I actually like and have things in common with. I think I'd actually be able to have a boyfriend. Sure, I've got a crush on Andrew (oooo-er, if he wasn't going to OSU, I'd jump on it) and I've got the hots for this one lifeguard, DBWT (Daddy Big Webbed Toes). Ooooooh. I'd take either of them in a heartbeat. TOO BAD NO ONE LIKES ME.
I've got slight sunburn. I'm so happy! I was only outside for a few hours today too. Thank you little kids that I got to chase around.
Oh yeah, and I got new glasses yesterday. I can't take serious pictures anymore. And I can only cross on eye.
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| surfs up dewd |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|10:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MODest mouse | ] |
I guess life isn't going too bad. I've realized how much I really love my friends. And how I'm glad that none of them are male.
Music is my best friend right now. :]
My internet hasn't been working all that great lately. I think it's trying to tell me to move on and do more productive things. I can't do that, though. I'm addicted. I love to type. It makes me feel slightly smarter. I'm better at writing in general when I type. I don't know why.
Remind me to stop buying crappy food with my money. I need it.
p.s. Surfs Up is SUCH a cute movie. |
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